Friday, June 6, 2014

My chains are gone, I've been set free......

I love that song, and especially the chorus. Those chains can be different things to different people. For me it has been silence. I know that sounds akward, but for the past three years or so, I have worn the chains of silence.

For me this was a big deal. You see, I have been active in worship in the churches that I have attended since I was 4 years old. I can remember someone else holding the michrophone for me to sing into when I was super young. It has always been a big part of my life, until around three and a half years ago. It was at that time that I was silenced by God. It was so hard struggling through that and not knowing why it was happening. It was a real battle for me. I loved worship, and always had, but suddenly it was gone. I was no longer able to lead others in worship, and I just felt lost. It felt like a part of me was gone, and I was so confused.

Looking back now, I can see that even way back then, God was preparing us for the ministry that we are now in. I still don't know the exact reason, but I feel like that if I had stayed in the role that I was in at the time, we never would have moved to our sending church, and we never would have made it to the mission field in Alaska. I am sure I would have felt so obligated to stay where we were actually involved in worship ministry, that I may have missed the bigger picture that God was drawing for us.

I think that it is in our times of silence that we grow the most. I know during the past three and a half years, I have searched for Gods will, actively pursuing His will for our lives. It has not been easy, and there was a lot of time spent waiting. It was during this time that I was able to grow closer to God in my prayer life, and really really depend on Him. He has developed new passions in me that would not have come without the silence. He has shown me things that I never would have been able to see, without the silence. He has taught me how to "be still, and know that He is God".

Because of all of these things, I am thankful for the silence that I went through. Just recently God has been impressing upon my heart the desire to become involved in worship ministry again. At first I was hesitant, I wanted to be sure that the desires of my heart were also the desires of God. After much prompting from the Lord, I took the appropriate steps to audition and become involved in worship here in Alaska. It felt great, but I realized one more thing while I was up there on the stage, that in my time of silence, God was teaching me how to truly worship Him. Not just how to put on a show, but how to truly worship Him with all of my heart, holding nothing back. He taught me about living a life style of worship, not just waiting until Sunday morning, but striving to have a constant connection with Him.

It feels so good to be back where I know God has always planned for me to be, and it is so awesome to have that desire burning in my heart and soul once again. The desire to lead Gods people in preparing their hearts to be in the presence of the Holy Spirit and to be receptive of what he has for them.
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